The Gallows Incident: Good News!

Some Swinging Hipster Meta Coverage 
"You'll come home from the holidays...in a body-bag. "

Straight from the world beyond! Fresh and shocking news reporting sightings of a huge probably-more-than-20 foot meta rising from the waves of Season 3!

Not to be confused with THIS family!! Censored for protection of innocents. 

Can't find that damned blueprint? Low on resources? Too freaked out to build the real deal? Don't fret! That's where the gallows comes into play! Go for the Meat Locker Alternative! Faster disposal, cheaper cost and recycled ropes! Go green!

Recently here at MLI we saw a rather daunting looking person in some executioner outfit donning some nooses in his casual manbag. He then proceeded to spew to our reporters of the Gallows Incidents that had been increasingly occurring in the world beyond. Reason? Oh... "meh-tas" just wanna have fun-un!

(Okay and justice, justice too.. )

If your jaw has not yet touched the ground we assure you that the death count of this meta's hands is a hefty 18 and counting! They unofficially go by the name of The Family. Yes, like a mummy, daddy, baby and heck chuck in the 2 year old labrador with 24/7 hyperactiveness. Except instead of fish rods and panty hose you'll find cupboards of stained nooses and a black book of prospective victims in their garage.

You know what to do when you see them in a town? Try to get in as fast as possible! You may be about to witness something magical! The meta has recently asked for some form of outfitting to be done by our fashion department and we have yet to work out something substantial and blood stained enough but we suggest they start wearing some swanky executioner outfits. These guys sure put Judge Judy to shame; their blows of retribution will hit harder than the town black-jack dealer who is slightly high off twinoids.

Good show chaps, you have sure set an example for years to come, may we recommend this snazzy phrase: for the greater good...

Warning: The Gallows will NOT earn you any sort of defence (this just in: unless you have a cemetery. Thumbs up dobergos and your super sekrit minion Anonymous!), only twice the satisfaction. But who builds the meatlocker for defence anyway? Phhffttt.

Enlarge for fun read

Lesson of the Day? [LOTD]
TMLI: being a good example since 19--
TGI: being an even better example since 19--

Note: Next time you witness a hanging you might wish to do your cheering/screaming to this groovin' beat inspired by the Gallows Incident.
100% credit and kudos to J-J-Joe Baldelliii (Alter ego, Felonious)

Feel free to post your [faked:optional] shocked reactions and admiration for the meta below:

Wonderfuldildostatuecastleville Update Two

It's now that time of year where the bank is filled to the brim with anti-depressant demand letters. Well just happens that sort of stuff really doesn't exist in Die2nite. So really the game is just saying "deal with it". Result? We have people dropping dead faster than rocket launched turds. And yes, no one cares about the mascot Toast!

Hope had almost been abandoned here at the Mud Wrestling Motel of Slaves. You couldn't walk a meter before a crazy rambling drunk citizen grabbed you by the collar and started yelling "Where the hell is our blueprint?!". Soon the morale raising thread "What the hell do we do now..." appropriately found its way onto our rather shambled forums. 

Special mention however has to go to our boy Baker of Cl*rks, never to be seen not rambling about meat lockering the fabled "mum47" or hanging "mum47" or at least doing something to "mum47". In fact, in a flash our alcohol and drugs had disappeared and the gallows miraculously built! Yes, this man really takes matters into his own hands! 

So after taking down notes, suspecting each other of treason, drawing up map outlines, cross referencing  information, running around frothing at the mouth mumbling "blooooprint" and being rather jealous of P-Tits locked love shack, complete with charged dildo and doormat for wiping your privates: 

Imirk casually walks in, hits that shit on the table and announces "Bitchez, it's all good, I got yo junk"

And still we need to hear reports of where this superhero actually found the damn thing?! Although yes, most likely he materialized it from pure sand with his god-like fists of fury.

Celebrations lasted around 10 minutes. Surprisingly no one got drunk, no one announced a naked fun-run and we were back to frothing at the mouth, now mumbling "human flesh"... 

Yes, in conclusion we still look like this sucker right here 

___________________________________________________________

"I'm down like shit on shoes baby!"

News on the street is there is another trippy scout rampage being planned by our now dead and limbo-ing Meat Locker loggers. Could this be the glorious future?! All we know is... George is sure down. 

Mission; Codename: Season 3 is Balls Alpha Squad

- Buy Hero Days

After pondering your hero days for a few hero days

Go to some random thread. Whatever thread will do.

- First thing's first; you must complain in some fashion about the META CAP

-Secondly, you must do this several times

Some ways of approaching this:

- Make thread in the discussion world forum that will get moved by the Crow to the Saloon

-Argue the topic extensively (one to two pages will suffice), quoting quotes whilst yelling at people to stay on topic and stop FLAMING.

Unfortunately, punctuation and fancy words need to be used for this part of the process. What a joke!

[Pro tip: Any moment is an opportune moment to scream about that missing Search-tower blueprint and put up frantic "missing" posters on the town board with cash reward]

- Your new catchphrase is "Season 3 sucks"

- You must remember to announce to some moderator that you want a refund whilst shaking your fist and pouting your lips

- Of course you won't get one so you better make a statement that you won't be giving another penny!

Optional, the extremist prove-a-point strategy:

-Dramatically quit the game. Because you're gonna be hardcore like that

-Riot like a Londoner at MT HQ

You're a true pro now.