Questions, not answers

Included in the direct transfer to our private and secure twinoid dump in the 4th stall was a cryptic message from the western European hacker responsible for the Irish paddy style YouTube clip:

"Oh shit, the shareholders wont be happy that this infoz is out in the Public eye.

• Has the $$$ value dropped? Real questions need answering here.
• Exactly who was in the meeting? I need those minutes on my desk by 7am yesterday.
• And what exactly can we expect the reaction to more Cena CPs will be? 

Motiontwin Hack 2016

In response to the James Franco masterpiece 'the interview' - North Korea unleashed the fury on Sony Entertainment, believing the ps4 to be an inferior machine when compared with golden eye on the n64.

MotionTwin Dev hard at work on exciting Season 13 Updates

[Sugg] [IMP] New Pants

Brought to you by the sassiest tamers in the land. We meant to choose SCOUT... missclicks happen but look at these friggin pants!!!

WHY PANTS?

We should all be so lucky. Seriously... we should be. Different occasions call for different pants and we are woefully unprepared. How many times have you been invited to swanky dinner at Dukes Villa but found out that you have nothing to wear? It's nearly impossible to splash about in the abandoned well until peak fun if you aren't wearing your 3/4 shorts.

Let's get this SUGGESTION thread poppin people. We are talking about something that NEEDS to happen! Think about it.... NEW PANTS!

From the ghosts of meatlocker present, meatlocker past and meatlocker future:

Soft Core BEAT

Despite the best efforts of Blazon (who tried to leave him behind on the day of the jump), Beat made it into a town for MMJ. I think we all know how that's going!? Well... maybe we all don't know? We here at MLI have noticed that some say it's great, some say this guy has no idea what he's talking about, and some just say why the hell are there cats inside of these snakes?

To get to the bottom of things, we have conducted a girthy interview with this Resident Forum hero and 

THE RESULTS WILL SHOCK YOU!!!

Farmer Shep does it again

Back at Old Macdonald's Farm...

a drunken farmer shep returns from a hard day of plowing the fields and starts screaming on town forums. Farmyard family feels blunt of anger. 

Farmyard domestics are a rising problem amongst the community. Their young son gobwob watches helplessly

Confirmed: drunk brawls (on forums) will work outside on a family member who is also outside and cost 4AP

Upon further attempt farmer shep was unable to harm (by both drunk brawls or straight fist punching) already injured Pan and gobwob who was clearly hiding. It is unknown if drunk brawls work by zone shouting.

100% conclusive 

The Unsanitary BLACKOPCHODE

Welcome to Draw2nite, Wreckyourmap2nite, Graffitimaster2nite ... forget it.. 

Welcome to 

Courtesy of the Unsanitary Collossseum
Sponsored by KingDouche

As a festive welcome back celebration just for us we undertook yet another deep undercover penetrative mission into the world beyond (scouts you know what we're talkin about).

We love distinction whoring, so f*ck it, we'll make our own! (We only slightly hope that our raindance brings the Crow with many BRDs for us. Crow, it was all for you)

We salute you

We bring to you the official Die2nite Scout Sign.

Why residents forum is so hot

Come to Dallas' Fun Club and find yourself lost in:

• Poems

Dallas has recently revealed that this is in fact a competition and that prizes include 

1. Solid gold plunger
2. Solid gold fork
3. Solid gold machete

The rules have been posted! From the wall of text we can discern a few things:

1. 4-6 sentences please: dallas is not a picky guy
2. dallas will tattoo the winning poem on his buttcheeks 
3. you need some special 5 star award winning piece to win this shit

• Mottos 

Just remember when you make a motto for this wonderful game that you:

1. go off topic as much as possible
2. usereallylongwords makesurethey'reinitalics
3. MAKE YOUR MARK with the BIGGEST, BADDEST, SASSIEST wall of text you can muster. And if you run out of ideas just talk about bacon, or sex, or butts, or the crow. No one can fault you for that. And then if you're really still stuck then just call Shep names, like fat ham, or bell jingler, or hoho whore, get him really in the Christmas spirit and he might very well reply to you and help you with getting those creative juices flowing to make even more walls of text. 

Dallas, you really are one fly guy. Don't stop makin that residents forum hot. 

"come get yo bling bling bitchez"

Season 12 December 7th: SHAMAN SHAMING SEASON

Official announcement was made on the 16th of November. Indeed, season 12 is coming to die2nite. Initial respondents were ecstatic, words such as "suprised that this game is still alive" and "hope we are getting the meta cap back!". We concur.

season 11? more Dallas to come

Being no experts, we invited esteemed members of the community to give us that essence de saison 11. Here are some happy customers:

Looks like the community will be distraught to see The Mysterious Season go.

In with the new, out with the old. We're over it. 

Exclusively from MLI here are some exciting updates we have from external spies on what may (or may not be) in the update. *Spoiler Alert*

• Bigger better mayers
• Bring out your inner dictator with improved mayor mind control for you to play out your wildest power fantasies with your lesser citizens
• Drunk brawls
• Take your showdowns to the next level. Forget punchouts. Invest in shoutouts. 
• Alcoholics anonymous meetings may now be compulsory 
• Shaman naming and shaming
• No more random plebians to take up the glory hole mask
• Only the most shameful of citizens to be chosen! 
• Meat Locker prevails despite the Gallow efforts 
• We are not entirely sure what Mama Murphy meant when she said "from now on gallows will have priority over meatlocker" but we assume that the meatlocker prevails
• Take that Gallows Incident
• Stank ranking
• Get ready to squeeze out your stankest rank all over the boards, now even more citizens will have the opportunity to rank, unless of course you shit your kegs too early
• Butcher is better 
• New burger hats

Lesser improvements have been mentioned: 

• Shamans may suck less, but probably will suck just the same
• Dream for mayor
• Ruintz for mayor 

Thanks to Ruintz for the intel, did we break patient-confidentiality? Ruintz rulez.